Relationships & I

Well we never got along the two of us. Relationships and I have so far not seen eye to eye. I have done a lot of soul searching recently and decided to get back to blogging.

Officially I am now single... Oh dear! One guy with a million potentials... Compatibility however is the challenge. I've done serial dating in the past and had lots of fun but nothing long term has emerged from my fun and frolics.

Despite the issue of compatibility, we have a modern condition of choice and ambition. We are now faced with endless life choices, destinations, careers, lifestyles! Do we have time to date, never mind being in long term relationships?

I was talking with a friend about these things the other day. I want love, true love, but I want to travel abroad, learn a language, live in france, get a vineyard, have a fabulous international career. Well we can't have all these things, unless you find a partner who has the exact same ambitions as you; highly unlikely I think.

What takes priority? Love or ambition?

I came to the conclusion, after years of thought, that I choose love. I would choose true love over anything. This made me realise that love is my real ambition. But I want to feel love with somebody else that feels the same way! I don't want to spend my life nursing a broken heart. But is this the modern condition? Is this the path for the majority of us who do not find absolute compatibility?

One thing for sure is that I do not want to settle. I do not want to be in a relationship for the sake of being in a relationship. When I talk about love I mean true, passionate, inconvenient, fire works, love! The kind of love you would die for, love that consumes your every being.

I have been in love before, and been in a sticky, awful, heart breaking situation. Ambition and dreams at the detriment of my heart. Not nice. I never want to go through this again. I do not want to fall in love with somebody only to find out that I am not the most important part of their life. I am not disposable; non of us are!

Hearts mend, but time ticks by... Endlessly tormenting the majority of us.

One thing I know is I will not and cannot live happily without true love. I can be content but not truly satisfied.

I believe this is the case for all of us. People may want to live their dreams without love, but they are frightened. They are scared of being hurt, and deeply insecure. Please correct me if you think I am wrong. Yes my opinion is bound to be egocentric. Yes I'm projecting my view of love on others, but I cannot understand those who are frightened of love. I do not comprehend this.

I may give up some dreams, some career choices; but I will not abandon love!

Please comment, I am intrigued...