Love you...

Can you love somebody else if you don't love who you are? I think not.

So many dysfunctional relationships, single miserable people, full of self loathing. I would argue most people need a little lesson in self love. I am not talking narcissism, I am talking about loving the person you are. Inside, and yes, on the surface.

It is impossible to hold a decent relationship, or indeed even find one, if you cannot have a decent relationship with the most important person in your life; you! If you cannot love who you are, you spend your life assuming that others won't. Not only are you making an assumption about other's desires and feelings, but to be honest you're right. I have dated many men with self loathing, and it is very unattractive. You may think I am being a bit harsh, but people out there really need some tough love. A serious reality check!

If you have self identity issues, or you hate the way you look, or you think you're a horrible person; go out there and get some help. There are various charities, you can go to your GP and see if you can get some CBT or counselling. You can talk to me! When I say 'get some help', I do not mean save up for a breast job or a nose job, I want you to learn to love the person you are, inside and out... Without this you cannot love anybody else. And, indeed, nobody will truly love you.

This is a harsh reality, but true. Yeah building self confidence is not an easy thing, and it will take time. But you can get there. I did it. I was a miserable self loathing teenager, with no confidence. I thought I was ugly and nobody would love me. I always walked around with my shoulders stooped, wearing horrible clothes. I suppose I thought I did not deserve to wear nice clothes and be attractive. It took me years of practice to learn to love myself.

I am a fabulous and wonderful individual, and I want all my friends to feel the same about themselves.

I had a friend once who thought it was shallow to not want to date somebody because they had self hate and self confidence issues. I object to this. Why would I want to spend my time and energy reassuring somebody all the live long day? I wouldn't. I have a right to meet somebody who is self assured.

I will write later in more depth about my journey, and how I learned to love the person I am today. I still see life as a journey in self discovery, and we all should. Forget about God, religion, faith? Have faith in yourself! You are the most important person you'll ever have a relationship with, time is ticking, so you better make it a good one.

If you like who you are, your anxieties disappear. You can invite somebody into your life, and want to share yourself with them. If you do not like who you are, what have you got to give another person? Nothing but misery.

To all my lovelies! I love you! Love yourself!