... is not a euphemism for some kinky game, it is the sense of smell.
In the words of Edina Monsoon (Ab Fab fame) "if there was only a scent that lingers longer than he does."
The sense of smell is one of the most powerful senses, it has the power to invoke past deep emotions and graphic memories. Whether that be the smell of a long lost love, or a graphic shag flashback... The smell of people can be intoxicating.
After numerous breakups, smell is one of the hardest things to let go of. Years later smells can come back to haunt you. We all may as well admit that we sniff the pillow of the one who broke our hearts and left us alone in the dark. I've been known to not wash pillows for many weeks. Why is this?
I am now in a happy relationship and I love to smell my partner's neck. Not sure why? But the scent sends shivers down my spine, my shakras swell and bulge and erupt... What a bizarre thing. Smell also invokes the most amazing and instant physiological activity.
I smelt 'Joop' on a man on the train this morning. Not only did it remind me of my past love (ancient history believe me), but I suddenly felt the nauseating emotions associated with being lied to, cheated on, left out in the cold all alone... How bloody bizarre! Music and songs I once shared with people also has an effect on me, but nothing as deep and physiologically moving as a smell.
Are human beings still susceptible to pheromones that create involuntary physiological arousal? We must be. I feel ashamed to say I'm a psychology graduate, but it is one of the areas I never really indulged in as a student. But now it fascinates me...
I wonder what the next arousing scent will be?
I must point out that by 'arousal' I mean any physiological change in the body or invocation of emotions, not necessarily of a sexual nature...
About Me
- Mark Wright
- Bradford, West Yorkshire, United Kingdom
- Gay & Living In The City
Monday, 19 July 2010
Tuesday, 13 July 2010
Violence & Venom...
I have been researching hatred of homosexuality for a while now. I have come across some shocking and disturbing things.
I entered the search term 'gay' into twitter, and the vast majority of results were hateful. The blamed homosexuals for things, they used the term 'gay' to ridicule their friends or things, they declared war on homosexuality, they wanted to kill homosexuals, one man tweeted "I hate gay niggers". What a horrible, yet strange thing to say.
I watched a Dispatches documentary on Channel Four called 'Africa's Last Taboo'... The hatred out there for gay men is vicious. Crowds would gather if they knew somebody was gay. Angry crowds would surround the court rooms where gay men were being tried for the crime of being themselves.
I watched clips on youtube of a man in Jamaica been beaten and savaged by crowds of angry people. Here is a photo of the poor man:
I visited chat rooms and internet forums and discussion boards and read hateful message after hateful message. Threats of violence abound.
I could go on for hours talking about the horrible things I have witnessed but the main thing that interests me is the ferocity of which people react. Why do large mobs gather, why do they attack and murder people, why do they write such hateful and scathing words?
What is so interesting about homosexuality that it warrants such aggression and venom. Why does homosexuality warrant huge crowds baying for blood. What happens to these people? Why does homosexuality bring out this primitive fight or flight reaction in people? Do they have to prove to each other how much they hate us gays. The men are almost in competition with each other to see who hates they gays the most.
Would a murderer, a thief, or a drug dealer get such a barbaric reaction outside a courtroom?
I intend to do some further research. When these people are asked why they have such hatred they rarely give a sensible answer, they rarely introspect and delve deep and consider their cruelty.
Maybe it's all about the arse? Serious... Maybe it is. A muslim cleric on Dispatches seemed to be obsessed with the arse when he was introduced to a gay man. A police officer in Uganda was giving us a biology lesson on why the arse is an exit only. He delved deep (pun fully intended) into the muscular structure of the anus.
Maybe it is religion? I can't help feel it is much more culturally ingrained than to just blame such hatred solely on religion though. There has to be a combination of factors for such hatred.
I'll return to this...
I entered the search term 'gay' into twitter, and the vast majority of results were hateful. The blamed homosexuals for things, they used the term 'gay' to ridicule their friends or things, they declared war on homosexuality, they wanted to kill homosexuals, one man tweeted "I hate gay niggers". What a horrible, yet strange thing to say.
I watched a Dispatches documentary on Channel Four called 'Africa's Last Taboo'... The hatred out there for gay men is vicious. Crowds would gather if they knew somebody was gay. Angry crowds would surround the court rooms where gay men were being tried for the crime of being themselves.
I watched clips on youtube of a man in Jamaica been beaten and savaged by crowds of angry people. Here is a photo of the poor man:
I visited chat rooms and internet forums and discussion boards and read hateful message after hateful message. Threats of violence abound.
I could go on for hours talking about the horrible things I have witnessed but the main thing that interests me is the ferocity of which people react. Why do large mobs gather, why do they attack and murder people, why do they write such hateful and scathing words?
What is so interesting about homosexuality that it warrants such aggression and venom. Why does homosexuality warrant huge crowds baying for blood. What happens to these people? Why does homosexuality bring out this primitive fight or flight reaction in people? Do they have to prove to each other how much they hate us gays. The men are almost in competition with each other to see who hates they gays the most.
Would a murderer, a thief, or a drug dealer get such a barbaric reaction outside a courtroom?
I intend to do some further research. When these people are asked why they have such hatred they rarely give a sensible answer, they rarely introspect and delve deep and consider their cruelty.
Maybe it's all about the arse? Serious... Maybe it is. A muslim cleric on Dispatches seemed to be obsessed with the arse when he was introduced to a gay man. A police officer in Uganda was giving us a biology lesson on why the arse is an exit only. He delved deep (pun fully intended) into the muscular structure of the anus.
Maybe it is religion? I can't help feel it is much more culturally ingrained than to just blame such hatred solely on religion though. There has to be a combination of factors for such hatred.
I'll return to this...
x is acceptable because x has always occurred... Very dangerous argument...
I was watching an episode of the depressing series called 'Benidorm'. Some of the characters were on a coach trip to see a bull fight. One lady was morally opposed to such barbary, but her boyfriend gave a wonderful speech about the ancient Spanish tradition... She fell for it hook line and sinker... His argument was 'cultural relativism'...
If an individual believes that everything that happens around the world is a mere cultural variant, therefore should be respected, then they are justifying every inhumane or cruel act that has ever occurred.
Cultural relativism leaves many things unchallenged, like the disgusting massacre of whales in the Faroe Islands:
Why do we allow such sickening behaviour? What are we scared of? People who challenge such things are accused of not understanding and respecting the cultural differences of others.
Want to see some more barbary? Still want to argue the respect of traditions just because they have always been so, well as far as people can remember?
The argument from cultural relativism is as follows: x is acceptable because x has always occurred as far as a cultural group can remember... This is it! Pure and simple. When you look at the torture going on all around the world, isn't it silly that this can be justified by such a basic circular argument.
If you are arguing on the basis of such an argument then consider what else you are justifying:
1) The murder of men and women around the world on the basis of their sexuality. Justified on religious and cultural grounds. Homosexuality has always been met with the death penalty, therefore, it is fine to continue.
2) Female genital mutilation. A culturally justified practice. Female genital mutilation has always occurred in many parts of the world as a coming of age ceremony, therefore it is fine to continue. (Coming of age? Torture and rape are more accurate descriptions of such practices.)
What silly arguments.
If an individual believes that everything that happens around the world is a mere cultural variant, therefore should be respected, then they are justifying every inhumane or cruel act that has ever occurred.
Cultural relativism leaves many things unchallenged, like the disgusting massacre of whales in the Faroe Islands:
Why do we allow such sickening behaviour? What are we scared of? People who challenge such things are accused of not understanding and respecting the cultural differences of others.
Want to see some more barbary? Still want to argue the respect of traditions just because they have always been so, well as far as people can remember?
The argument from cultural relativism is as follows: x is acceptable because x has always occurred as far as a cultural group can remember... This is it! Pure and simple. When you look at the torture going on all around the world, isn't it silly that this can be justified by such a basic circular argument.
If you are arguing on the basis of such an argument then consider what else you are justifying:
1) The murder of men and women around the world on the basis of their sexuality. Justified on religious and cultural grounds. Homosexuality has always been met with the death penalty, therefore, it is fine to continue.
2) Female genital mutilation. A culturally justified practice. Female genital mutilation has always occurred in many parts of the world as a coming of age ceremony, therefore it is fine to continue. (Coming of age? Torture and rape are more accurate descriptions of such practices.)
What silly arguments.
Sunday, 11 July 2010
Deadly myths...
I was horrified and upset to hear of the discrimination faced by a UNISON member by his employer regarding his disability. His disability was HIV... A disability specifically covered under the Disability Discrimination Act (DDA)...
His employer refuses to make reasonable adjustments for him because he is on medication and his illness has not yet manifested itself. I'm sorry Mr Employer but the DDA specifically covers people with HIV who are on treatment and who show no signs of ill health. Why do we still have to live in this world? Large modern employers still failing to provide adjustments. What is the fear? Why the reluctance? Blatant discrimination, ignorance, hatred, and disregard are the problems.
I wanted to raise the issue of safe sex, sex education, and HIV & AIDS at a health and safety event with my employer. The idea is to be considered but it has not been formally agreed. The response I got from other people is that raising this issue will make people start talking, whispering, and witch hunting???????? WHAT?
Are people worried I am going to 'out' people? What rot. I want to raise awareness within my company and with my members about HIV. I want to wake people up and snap them out of this idea of the 'gay plague'. The vast majority of HIV transmissions are between heterosexual people... and this is where the ignorance is most dangerous.
The equality seminar I attended in Liverpool has charged me up now to fight this ignorance. I no longer want the myth of the 'gay plague' to rest in the conscious of the majority, including those in LGBT community. I intend to raise these issues formally and start a campaign in the workplace to educate staff and management alike.
HIV & AIDS are not issues to be avoided, feared, and disregarded. It's time to dispel the myths...
The concept itself of 'deadly myths' is indeed something i will return to...
His employer refuses to make reasonable adjustments for him because he is on medication and his illness has not yet manifested itself. I'm sorry Mr Employer but the DDA specifically covers people with HIV who are on treatment and who show no signs of ill health. Why do we still have to live in this world? Large modern employers still failing to provide adjustments. What is the fear? Why the reluctance? Blatant discrimination, ignorance, hatred, and disregard are the problems.
I wanted to raise the issue of safe sex, sex education, and HIV & AIDS at a health and safety event with my employer. The idea is to be considered but it has not been formally agreed. The response I got from other people is that raising this issue will make people start talking, whispering, and witch hunting???????? WHAT?
Are people worried I am going to 'out' people? What rot. I want to raise awareness within my company and with my members about HIV. I want to wake people up and snap them out of this idea of the 'gay plague'. The vast majority of HIV transmissions are between heterosexual people... and this is where the ignorance is most dangerous.
The equality seminar I attended in Liverpool has charged me up now to fight this ignorance. I no longer want the myth of the 'gay plague' to rest in the conscious of the majority, including those in LGBT community. I intend to raise these issues formally and start a campaign in the workplace to educate staff and management alike.
HIV & AIDS are not issues to be avoided, feared, and disregarded. It's time to dispel the myths...
The concept itself of 'deadly myths' is indeed something i will return to...
Monday, 5 July 2010
Straight pill...
Would you take a straight pill?
I was asked this on Saturday night. I asked the reverse "Would you take a gay pill?"... No comment, but a clear NO...
The guy was not a neo nazi skin head thug, he was just a bit simple bless him. But his question got me thinking back to a past debate. At university, the LGBT officer of the student union said he would take a straight pill. I can remember feeling incredibly sorry for him. His experience of being gay was completely negative. I have had more positives than negatives. This guy was there to give advice to LGBT members and help look after their interests. Yet he would have condoned a 'straight pill'. I remember him talking about all of his negative experiences, about how life would be so much easier if he were straight. How dangerous him being the LGBT officer.
Years passed without me giving it a thought...
So I have in my time been asked the question twice. This is not just the desire of some emotionally disturbed LGBT officer, but is obviously inherent in the 'collective consciousness' somehow.
Not only is it dangerous for such a question to be asked, but that it is even considered or taken seriously. It is like the BBC faux pas of asking if homosexuality should be illegal. Why ask the question?
By asking someone if they would take the straight pill automatically assumes a hetero authority on the questionee. The questioner (assuming he/she is a breeder) is imposing their hetero authority, whether intentional or not, whether they're a fag hag who 'loves the gays' or some fascist t**t.
By asking the question you are automatically assuming there may be something wrong with being gay, whether you agree with homosexuality or not. Not that homosexuality is something to be agreed. It just is, it exists, it is in being, it is not something that really should be debated. It's a fact, like trees are green is a fact. I once asked a friend what he thinks about the debate on the existence of God. He replied 'There's nothing to debate'. Quite simple and effective.
Despite my argument that there's no need for such a question or debate. It is a pointless question. It is a dangerous question. But lets imagine a world where this question can be discussed (sadly we live in one)...
Why the frilly f**k would I take a 'straight pill'? I love who I am. I love being gay. I love my life, and my friends. Don't take this the wrong way but I love myself. I would never want to damage one single thread that makes up my identity. I would fight to the death to protect who I am, and I would fight to the death to protect the identities of other LGBT people. I would fight like I would fight for the rights of women and the rights and freedoms of people with disabilities.
If you are asked the question of whether you would take the 'straight pill' or not... Don't dignify it with an answer. Ask the same question reversed.
Not that such a pill exists. The idea alone of such a pill is far too dangerous to be given the time of day. Oops maybe I shouldn't even be writing about it.
If you're gay, then you're lucky. You should be so proud of who you are. You should celebrate the fact that you are gay... Enjoy every minute of it. Enjoy who you are. And most importantly enjoy every aspect of your identity, not just your sexual preference.
Enjoy you!
I was asked this on Saturday night. I asked the reverse "Would you take a gay pill?"... No comment, but a clear NO...
The guy was not a neo nazi skin head thug, he was just a bit simple bless him. But his question got me thinking back to a past debate. At university, the LGBT officer of the student union said he would take a straight pill. I can remember feeling incredibly sorry for him. His experience of being gay was completely negative. I have had more positives than negatives. This guy was there to give advice to LGBT members and help look after their interests. Yet he would have condoned a 'straight pill'. I remember him talking about all of his negative experiences, about how life would be so much easier if he were straight. How dangerous him being the LGBT officer.
Years passed without me giving it a thought...
So I have in my time been asked the question twice. This is not just the desire of some emotionally disturbed LGBT officer, but is obviously inherent in the 'collective consciousness' somehow.
Not only is it dangerous for such a question to be asked, but that it is even considered or taken seriously. It is like the BBC faux pas of asking if homosexuality should be illegal. Why ask the question?
By asking someone if they would take the straight pill automatically assumes a hetero authority on the questionee. The questioner (assuming he/she is a breeder) is imposing their hetero authority, whether intentional or not, whether they're a fag hag who 'loves the gays' or some fascist t**t.
By asking the question you are automatically assuming there may be something wrong with being gay, whether you agree with homosexuality or not. Not that homosexuality is something to be agreed. It just is, it exists, it is in being, it is not something that really should be debated. It's a fact, like trees are green is a fact. I once asked a friend what he thinks about the debate on the existence of God. He replied 'There's nothing to debate'. Quite simple and effective.
Despite my argument that there's no need for such a question or debate. It is a pointless question. It is a dangerous question. But lets imagine a world where this question can be discussed (sadly we live in one)...
Why the frilly f**k would I take a 'straight pill'? I love who I am. I love being gay. I love my life, and my friends. Don't take this the wrong way but I love myself. I would never want to damage one single thread that makes up my identity. I would fight to the death to protect who I am, and I would fight to the death to protect the identities of other LGBT people. I would fight like I would fight for the rights of women and the rights and freedoms of people with disabilities.
If you are asked the question of whether you would take the 'straight pill' or not... Don't dignify it with an answer. Ask the same question reversed.
Not that such a pill exists. The idea alone of such a pill is far too dangerous to be given the time of day. Oops maybe I shouldn't even be writing about it.
If you're gay, then you're lucky. You should be so proud of who you are. You should celebrate the fact that you are gay... Enjoy every minute of it. Enjoy who you are. And most importantly enjoy every aspect of your identity, not just your sexual preference.
Enjoy you!
Sunday, 4 July 2010
Equals?
Ever been discriminated against because of your:
Age
Colour
Race
Ethnicity
Religion
Atheistic Beliefs
Gender
Trans Status
Sexuality
Height
Weight
Education
Then sadly you are probably part of the majority...
Most of us will experience discrimination and inequality in all walks of life, from work, education, receiving of goods and services...
As a trade union rep and equality officer I have become aware of what I shall call 'reverse discrimination'. Some would call it 'positive discrimination'. Where does a white, heterosexual male, with no disability fit into a world of quotas? Nowhere. In UNISON we have self organised groups for the LGBT, Black, Disabled, and Women members. We have to fill certain quotas when attending courses, conferences, seminars etc. Our union convenor finds it very hard to get involved in many things as he is not eligible. He is heterosexual, white, male, and has no disability.
I challenge these quotas as they really do fail to address the issues of discrimination and inequality, and only further serve to alienate others.
We need education in schools that focuses on discrimination, work places should be sending employers on courses, especially management. We need to challenge attitudes, and the route causes of discrimination, not 'positively' discriminate...
We need better detection of discrimination, we need a review of legislation, we need to review the education system. We have a long battle ahead, especially as trade unionists, who really do want to tackle inequality in the world, especially within employment.
I was invited to attend a course on dyslexia in the workplace, only to be told a week before the course that I cannot attend as I do not have a disability. I was very disappointed. I could have brought a lot of knowledge back to my employer and the union within my roles concerning health and safety, and equality.
I am attending a seminar on equality in Liverpool next weekend and I hope to find some fresh innovative ideas. Not just ideas about what other groups we can 'positively' discriminate against...
Age
Colour
Race
Ethnicity
Religion
Atheistic Beliefs
Gender
Trans Status
Sexuality
Height
Weight
Education
Then sadly you are probably part of the majority...
Most of us will experience discrimination and inequality in all walks of life, from work, education, receiving of goods and services...
As a trade union rep and equality officer I have become aware of what I shall call 'reverse discrimination'. Some would call it 'positive discrimination'. Where does a white, heterosexual male, with no disability fit into a world of quotas? Nowhere. In UNISON we have self organised groups for the LGBT, Black, Disabled, and Women members. We have to fill certain quotas when attending courses, conferences, seminars etc. Our union convenor finds it very hard to get involved in many things as he is not eligible. He is heterosexual, white, male, and has no disability.
I challenge these quotas as they really do fail to address the issues of discrimination and inequality, and only further serve to alienate others.
We need education in schools that focuses on discrimination, work places should be sending employers on courses, especially management. We need to challenge attitudes, and the route causes of discrimination, not 'positively' discriminate...
We need better detection of discrimination, we need a review of legislation, we need to review the education system. We have a long battle ahead, especially as trade unionists, who really do want to tackle inequality in the world, especially within employment.
I was invited to attend a course on dyslexia in the workplace, only to be told a week before the course that I cannot attend as I do not have a disability. I was very disappointed. I could have brought a lot of knowledge back to my employer and the union within my roles concerning health and safety, and equality.
I am attending a seminar on equality in Liverpool next weekend and I hope to find some fresh innovative ideas. Not just ideas about what other groups we can 'positively' discriminate against...
Friday, 2 July 2010
Wednesday, 30 June 2010
Long day...
Sorry for delay in writing anything decent. I'm still drafting an article on equality, which is consuming my time a little, I need it to be right. I am however attending a UNISON equality conference next weekend in Liverpool, so watch this space...
Also check out the Stonewall's 'FIT' DVD by clicking on this blog title... It is an amazing non preachy video about homophobic bullying. It's an even gayer Skins... Check it out... Lets get this video in our schools and in our workplaces before the Tories bring out some new section 28 equivalent.
Let's unite and fight hatred...
Will blog more in depth tomorrow...
Also check out the Stonewall's 'FIT' DVD by clicking on this blog title... It is an amazing non preachy video about homophobic bullying. It's an even gayer Skins... Check it out... Lets get this video in our schools and in our workplaces before the Tories bring out some new section 28 equivalent.
Let's unite and fight hatred...
Will blog more in depth tomorrow...
Tuesday, 29 June 2010
Hay Fever...
One of my colleagues asked me to write about hay fever.
Now I'm not a hay fever sufferer, so I will compare hay fever to a chronic condition I do suffer from... Having to shave!
Shaving is irritating, it's inconvenient, it hurts, it's sore, it never gets easier. It just gets worse. For me it is also, like hay fever, a seasonal problem. When it comes round to that time of year when you really should have a shave... The suffering begins. The itching, the stinging, the rash. Oh it's awful...
I can't imagine being both a shaver and a hay fever sufferer... Oh lord no.
To all my brothers and sisters around the world who suffer from both conditions... MUCH LOVE!
Now I'm not a hay fever sufferer, so I will compare hay fever to a chronic condition I do suffer from... Having to shave!
Shaving is irritating, it's inconvenient, it hurts, it's sore, it never gets easier. It just gets worse. For me it is also, like hay fever, a seasonal problem. When it comes round to that time of year when you really should have a shave... The suffering begins. The itching, the stinging, the rash. Oh it's awful...
I can't imagine being both a shaver and a hay fever sufferer... Oh lord no.
To all my brothers and sisters around the world who suffer from both conditions... MUCH LOVE!
Bad Hair...
There is never a bad hair day in my book...
I tell a lie! ... I used to have bad hair days, and then I woke up ad began to give a shit... Say about 2 years ago. I have really thick, wiry, and dry hair naturally. No matter what supplements I take, vitamins, diet changes, expensive salon treatments, my hair is still incredibly difficult to manage.
The secret my friends is finding a great stylist. My hairdresser Andrew is a god. I have no idea how I lived without him. If you get the right cut, style, etc, it is really quite simple to have great stylish hair. Hair that also takes very little time to sort out in the morning.
My own personal tip for men is to get some small baby straighteners. These are so easy to use and reduce straightening time in my own experience from 30 minutes to 5 minutes. Seriously. It also helps to have hair that is professionally thinned out and styled.
Check out the website above to choose a style. I love this site. One of my personal favourites. Click on the blog title to go there.
Salon shampoos are also a lot better than high street products. They are more gentle and really do work. After washing my hair for for a few months with Aveda products, my virgin hair was gorgeous compared to before. I would heavily recommend Aveda Dry Remedy if you have dry, thick, and damaged hair. It smells great too. Use protection on your hair too before straightening.
Enjoy your hair, go crazy, be inventive, be brave...
I tell a lie! ... I used to have bad hair days, and then I woke up ad began to give a shit... Say about 2 years ago. I have really thick, wiry, and dry hair naturally. No matter what supplements I take, vitamins, diet changes, expensive salon treatments, my hair is still incredibly difficult to manage.
The secret my friends is finding a great stylist. My hairdresser Andrew is a god. I have no idea how I lived without him. If you get the right cut, style, etc, it is really quite simple to have great stylish hair. Hair that also takes very little time to sort out in the morning.
My own personal tip for men is to get some small baby straighteners. These are so easy to use and reduce straightening time in my own experience from 30 minutes to 5 minutes. Seriously. It also helps to have hair that is professionally thinned out and styled.
Check out the website above to choose a style. I love this site. One of my personal favourites. Click on the blog title to go there.
Salon shampoos are also a lot better than high street products. They are more gentle and really do work. After washing my hair for for a few months with Aveda products, my virgin hair was gorgeous compared to before. I would heavily recommend Aveda Dry Remedy if you have dry, thick, and damaged hair. It smells great too. Use protection on your hair too before straightening.
Enjoy your hair, go crazy, be inventive, be brave...
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